I had two goals for today, create an photo and take hotel photographs. When I came upon Michelberger Hotel, I went to their events page and saw all the best art exhibitions listed in Berlin so I thought .. hmm trustworthy taste. They had an event for today – Phox concert. I listened to a track Slow Motion – loved it. Checked on to see if it was listed, was so proud of myself that it wasn’t. : ) Emailed friends to enlist them to go with me but only to weak or non responses, emailed hotel, what time does the show start ? 8pm. Watched one of their music videos in which all the guys in the band had facial here and I could only really see the lead singer’s face. Listened to the song on repeat for like 2 hours before I left for the gym.

Came back from the gym, found out I wasn’t going to be a bridesmaid to an old high school friend’s wedding. Cried tears of rejection, felt unloved by my friends and wondered how is the world going to love me. Texted all these feelings to BFF in Arizona. With black eyeshadow shrieks down my face and sticky, salty skin from sweating at the gym, I cooked zucchini pasta (a Gwyneth Paltrow recipe), ate it only to realize it was 7:30pm and I had no time for getting ready to go to the show.

I speed walked to the s-abhn and then down Warschauer strasse and walked in out of breath and sweaty only to be greeted with two cute guys sitting on a sofa (later to discover it was the drummer and bassist). I realize not only has the gig not begun but there weren’t even enough people there to get lost in the crowd. I wanted to be penguin attaching itself to the huddle. I had to be a free agent and the task seemed daunting. I immediately reached for my iPhone to calm my nerves. For some reason, I couldn’t get the bartenders attention and went for a menu, but it was too long, looked at the drinks board but it was only wine, looked in the fridge couldn’t identify the drinks. Followed bartender from one point of the bar to the other, like the swinging pendulum of a cockoo clock. Finally cornered a bartender and asked her to the explain unidentifiable drinks in the fridge. The drinks were local to the hotel, the hotel was sponsoring its own microbrewery via Belgium. Picked one based on its design which looked like a black cat from a distance but was actually a black fox and paid 5,5o euro for the Mikkellerberger beer. Found out the concert was going to start an hour later and thought I was going to faint… an hour alone at a lounge bar which wasn’t even packed. I was told to read one of the many newspapers, look there’s a New York Times, or books and buy another beer.

I picked up a newspaper and shuffled to a table seat as though someone had forced me to come to Michelberger. I flipped through and stopped on an article about Appalachian poverty which I wanted to read but couldn’t. It lay there merely decorative to my Mikkellerberger.

About 30 minutes later, I realized the cute guys were actually members of the band. I went to the restroom and met a budding Berlin version of the Gary Pepper girl vintage shop and all, she wanted me to help her take an instagram photo, her alias Vintageparrot. We added each other on instagram. I went back upstairs to find my seat had immediately been taken by a German guy who didn’t notice my jacket still there. I ended up finding a seat up close and next to the soundbox.

Their music was just the right mix of hopeful, youthful happiness with a slight sense of melancholy and longing that hit what I am feeling right now so perfectly. Love.

I don’t know if it was the Wisconsin in them or the American but they actually smiled at people and were totally approachable with no attitude. Refreshing and yet I ran out the door as soon as the concert was over.





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