Right before my trip to Rome, a long lost high school friend posts a Facebook photo of her 24 inch waist with measuring tape and all, limiting my gelato intake to once a day for my 3 day Roman holiday. My equally vain male friend actually had gelato only once during the trip and would remind me as I got my piccolo scoop of gelato of the 24 inches waiting to appear on my waistline. I never noticed before but Google research says Audrey Hepburn’s waistline was a mere 20 inches, as you can see her waist was as round as my thigh appears in the photo above.
My friend and I spent the 3 days playing rummy before bed in the hotel room or on church steps before opening time, walking around, sometimes in circles and arriving for dinner early almost everyday. One thing I never had the chance to do was dip my feet in the fountains, which turned out to be in the August heat one of my favorite new Roman experiences. The most memorable being walking up the Gianicolo hill and finding a huge fountain in the shade, with a breeze and a view with many feet already soaking in the water.
We went to the Trevi fountain to make a wish. I tried to reiterate the one in a wish but my friend said comma, comma, comma, comma, and was allowed so I had to wait 2 minutes for him to make his wishes. My wish was finished before he realized and he was impressed at its pithy nature.
I told my friend about my new crush, someone with nostrils like Goethe, hair like the Kooks circa 2006 and a slightly large ass. He said I should seal the deal by grabbing his hands and shagging him but I said in Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales, only the peasants do it that way.